Today’s to do list…

Posted: May 21, 2013 in A Step in the Journey
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1) Smile, big and wide.  Soon you won’t even have to pretend to smile, you’ll actually be smiling.

2) Make plans for a close future date.  Give yourself something to look forward to.

3) Let the things that are bothering you today go find somewhere else to live, at least for one day.  Let go of what you are stressing about and just enjoy the quiet.

4) Hum a song.  If you’re like me you can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but sing along or even hum with a song.  It sounds too good to be true, but if I’m down in the dumps, just jamming out will brighten my day.  🙂

5) Breathe in and breathe out.  Nothing that is happening right now is worth losing it all for.  THIS IS ALL TEMPORARY.  And yes, temporary may mean that it lasts for a little while, but it won’t last forever.  So, enjoy the good, banish the bad, and breathe.

6) Shake your stress out.  Literally.  Stand up, shake your arms, wiggle out all that self-doubt.

7) Take a step back, appreciate what you’ve checked off, and if necessary – rinse and repeat!

This list can look one of two ways, impossible to do because of the way your mind is torturing you now, or blessedly easy.  Neither is completely true.  It seems that it will be hard to let go of those feelings that are holding you down, but it will be worth it.  Once you start to focus on ways to be happy in THIS moment, then you can work on the next and before long, you’re off and running.  And it may seem to easy to be true, but you have to make sure you’re not lying to yourself about the journey you are on.  It will be rocky, it will be strenuous, but it will be for you.  There will be days that you can’t believe how easy things are going.  There will be days that you want to hide and cry, or break things, or just disappear, but you will make it through.

And for those people who demand you “stop being so back and forth,” slap the shit out of them.  Ok, ok…maybe not that.  But tell them to go screw off.  You are ALLOWED to be unhappy sometimes.  It is ok to feel down, as long as you don’t let those feelings own you, then you are perfectly fine and NORMAL.  You are not alone in this struggle.  We are here, we support you.  And if anyone tells you that they don’t, or that they’re tired of the mood swings, then you don’t need them.  You need people who understand that you are going through a major change in your life, and even if they don’t understand that change, you need them to be there for you.  If they can’t, then it may be time to let them go.  I’m sorry.  That sounds harsh, but we need to know that the people who have chosen to have in our lives are there for us, as we are for them.

The rest are toxic, emotional vampires that will suck the life from you.  To them, you are not allowed to have a bad day, only they are.  If you have a bad day, you are taking the attention they so desperately seek from them.  We love those people, but they do not love us.  They cannot.  They only love themselves, and for your emotional well-being, you may have to let them go, for now.  Later, they may realize that they are part of a bigger world.  Until then, let them have their issues while you deal with yours.  But do not take anyone else’s baggage and add it to your own.

Be a good friend, be there for the people you love, as you want them to be for you.  But do not internalize their drama.  That is a problem with people like us.  We don’t know how to help someone without adding to our own pain.  Share it, help your loved one, but realize that this does not mean that you have to take their pain from them.  Pain is healing.  It helps us know where we have went wrong, what we don’t want to do again, and what we’re willing to do again.

I hope I haven’t preached too much at you this morning.  This is what I needed to hear, and now that I am calming down, I realized that some of you may need to hear it, too.  The truth is rarely pretty, but it is always necessary.  Now that all of that is out of the way, here’s to a better tomorrow and lots of smiles today!

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